Need to be alone...

dear blog...
how are you today?
well i'm not really fine today...
why? because I'm really feel something like nausea
with people around me...
I don"t know why...they are all so annoying and so irritating...
so to cut it down, i need to be alone for quite sometimes...
I'm sick of someone who is always feel like she's the prettiest, she's always right
I'm also sick with people who is not firm with decisions...
i'm also sick with people who is still rely on family even for a simple thing...
that's the part of the thing which are tiring me a lot...
so please...I NEED TO BE ALONE...

my vision...

dear diaria...
it's a wonderful evening when i'm typing this blog...
actually there's nothing to do now..
no calls to be attended..
but in order to cheer up my evening for today,
i would like to tell u my visions and ambitions for the year 2009...
first of all, i want to make sure my car insurance is successfully renewed...
secondly, i want to clear up all my debts among friends, family and then PTPTN (by installment la..hehe)
next i want to modify my lovely baby V... change the tint film to real black...
then to put a sporty pipe at the back along with the spoiler, change the rear springs, and last but not least put a fog lamps at the front bumper...that's the main things regarding my car...
and along this year, i want to make sure that my love relationship is saved and secured...
and as for me i want to be portrayed as someone who is physically and personally adorable...
huhuhu...Dear God, pls make my dreams come true....
AMIN...

the return of baby V

dear blog..
this is me then typing again on the very Chinese new year (2nd day)
it's been quite a week after my off days end...
well, i just want to tell u that I've got back my dearest baby V
after being 'hospitalized' for 19 days in perodua bdr tun razak..
i'm really happy with his comeback..
now i am free to go to everywhere i want..
i love u my baby V
ermm anyway, i'm quite unsatisfied when the perodua technicians
had sprayed his front bumper with a solid colour...i hate it...
but never mind it's still beautiful to me...
he's so perfect..
next plan on him, i will put a sporty spoiler at his back..it makes him looking so hotly sexy..
hehehe..
i really hope for next time onwards there will be no such thing like car accident anymore..
dear God, pls bless us...AMIN...

someone called love...

dear diaria...i want to tell u about this one...about my love relationships...well to be truth...i never really have a special love relationship for the whole life except with this man...he is actually married and i realized all that after that feelings grown up in me...in my heart...huhu...he never confess about his status to me at that time coz he afraid that i refused to take him as a friend...but i can't reverse the time as it is keep going to move...so we keep on our relationship secretly...i knew him for almost 3 years but the declaration is going to be 1 year this coming 29/03/09.huhu...there was a lot of barriers, tests, happiness, sorrowness and everything but he is the only man who can accept me as for who i am...the perfectness, the defectiveness and everything...i think nobody can do that for me...and as for now my love to him is growing bigger and healthy towards him and i really hope it's going to keep lasting...yeah i know this relationship is not going anywhere but i'm a human...as well as him too...i can't comment anything about the future to come but what i know he's going to be the last man i love...

here's the song:
I ONLY WANTED by mariah carey...


Doesn't it ever stay
Must it always fade away
Couldn't love ever be
Something tangible and real
Farewell, fairweather friend
Abandonment returns to
taunt me again

I only wanted you to stay
Linger and mean the words you said
Foolishly I romanticized
Someone was saving my life

For the first time
I only wanted you to
be there when I
Opened up my eyes

I was caught in your masquerade
Wish I'd stayed beneath my veil
But it just seemed so easy to
Open up myself to you
Once more into the wind
The embers scatter
And the chill settles in

I only wanted you to stay
Linger and mean the words you said
Foolishly I romanticized
Someone was saving my life
For the first time
I only wanted you to
be there when I
Opened up my eyes

Oh
I only wanted you to stay
Linger and mean the words you said
Foolishly I romanticized
Someone was saving my life
For the first time
I only wanted you to be
The one to get me
through that night

I only wanted you
To be there when I
Opened up my eyes
Oh
Doesn't it ever stay?
I only wanted you to
Stay

the start...

dear blog
this is my life...
so messy...so bored and so empty...
well i don't know where to start...
actually this is my first time doing a blogging thing...
and i've started this year with a very pathetic event...
as for your information, i was in a car accident on 03 rd jan 09
and it was not my fault...i have to send my baby V to the workshop...
i miss him a lot and i really2 need him...
he's the one who can carry me anywhere i wanna go...
FUCK that old Chinese man!!!!! lahanat!!!
i can't believe all the shit has affected me so fucking bad...it's like a disease...
i have no guts, no will to face every single day of mine, my financial going down and down so so so bad...
since this thing happened, i have to burden my own housemate miz wani...
i really2 appreciate her for the kindness and willingness to help...
only God can pay for it...may God bless u wani...
i really2 hope this kind of thing will not be repeating in the future...
i will always be careful while driving...God, pls hear my prayer...Amin...